Won't go to school.

[Charlie]

My son has aspergers, and ADHD. He was okay at school until recently, when the school have now made sudden changes to his statement before the annual review and he has lost it. Since starting year two in september he has slipped back 2-3 years on progress and his was contolled conditions are more than active. My main concern is that he hates school now and the past two days I have had to bribe him into going, but even then he is not settling into the school day and is getting into trouble. He is not kicking off trying to wangle a day off, he's really struggling to cope, my instincts are telling me that forcing him to go is wrong, and i'm starting to feel that if I keep pushing i'm going to make things worse. Any advice would be so helpful right now.

[heather]

i am sorry i have no advice but will share our recent and similar story anyway.

my sone has recently been bullied and has been excluded from break and lunch times to let him chill out in quiet. he came home one day and cried all night, wanted to be held and begged not to go to school. he woke throughout the night crying and i didnt send him the next day. i called the school and told them why he wasnt their but they werent aware of anything that had happened and dylan wouldnt talk to me or didnt really understand why he was so upset as he seems to get confused as to why he is unhappy and not really able to understand his own emotions or the reasons for them.

the head teacher told me that it was very important for him to come back the next day and that although she agreed he should be off that day that it should be no more than one day. i sent him back the next day.
i recently went to a autism seminar and was told that if they are stressed to the point of self harming or real emotional upset then they should be kept off school as to send them will only completely stress them out.

we are only very new to all this and i dont know who is right or wrong. it so difficult to know if you are doing the right thing but in future i will be going with my instincts and not those of the school as they are not trained in autism and regardless of how well meaning they are they dont know best and sometimes dont even understand asd. we were told by the educational support worker that we should make dylan go to a anchor boys even though he was in tears in a corner one weeks and hid under a chair with his hands over his ears the next. the job title does not mean they are always knowledgeable.

[kjgdid]

I would be concerned about the child developing extreme anxiety if forced to do something that is this stressful.