how and when do you tell your child?

[heather]

Our son is 6yrs and school has been very difficult for him. He is excluded at play and lunch time as it was so stressful and he was being badly bullied. In class it is obvious to the other kids that he is very different than them and we have told some of the parents that he is autistic as at a recent party his behaviour was so different to the other children we felt we needed to explain why he was sitting in the corner alone and licking walls etc. But we havent told him.

I worry that the parents will tell the kids and the kids will talk in class before we have told him but we have no idea what to say to him.

How has everyone else dealt with this?

[Lynn139]

Hello - I also have a son with Aspergers (diagnosed at age 5) who is now 11. I had the same worry as to how to tell him about his diagnosis. When he got to about 9 years old I thought it was time to do something about it and found a fantastic little book written by 8 year old Kenneth Hall called "Asperger syndrome, the Universe and Everything". I gave my son the book to read (a cop out I know!) and he immediately recognised himself in Kenneth and actually told me he thought he too had AS which enabled us to start a conversation about it.
Another book I would recommend is "Can I tell you about Asperger Syndrome?" a guide for friends and family by Jude Welton. This short book is ideal for friends, teachers or family members.

Hope this helps and Good Luck!

[Roo]

i was diagnosed at a very very late age for one reason my mother didnt know how to tell me or whether she should this is a very good question i wasnt really told i was shown. one day she said "can i show you something" she showed me the National Autism Societies easy read page on aspergers and i was like that sounds like me.

i was diagnosed while i was at college by te education physc who then reffered me to another phsycologist who made it official.

i think its not always the best idea to show your son what aspergers is as they might mirror the symptoms they see that they have never shown sign of before ( im not very good at describing what i mean but i think you know what i mean ) i know i was the same i started showing more symptoms of it then i really had i dont know why i did it but it happened and it has taken 2 years to stop it

[kittykat123123]

The earlier the better. I was diagnosed abroad and my parents moved back and didn't tell anyone, so I had no clue. When I was around 12 my mother got really fed up of me and blurted it out. After a little bit of online research, it made everything so much clearer! I was bullied constantly at school, or ignored (which can be worse) but when I found out about AS it was a huge relief, because before I thought that there was something wrong with me that everyone else could see but I couldn't. It would be better if, as well as getting some research together so you can tell them directly what it means, and using a book, you were also read up on the subject so you could answer questions.