22 Things a Woman Must Know if she loves a man with Asperger's Syndromeby Rudy Simone

[Stephen]

I have Asperger's Syndrome, am married with a young son.

I am highly disappointed with this book published only this month and think it is one of the worst so called factual books on helping those in a long term NT/AS relationship. Looking at the many previews that give the titles of each chapter I thought this was going to be a extremely good and worthwhile book on an Asperger/NT relationship. I thought that Rudy Simone showed little understanding and was rather negative about a husband with Asperger's Syndrome with some of the information given I would go as far as to say is inaccurate.

I got a strong indication from the book and was absolutely disgusted that the author would like those with Asperger's Syndrome to be assimilated into Neurotypical society, for many of our Asperger traits that affect us in relating to the Neurotypical world should be trained out of us. I also felt that the author like many in society are intolerant towards those who are neurologically different to the vast majority of society in general.

"This book is directed mainly toward female partners of men with AS; to discuss what problems they are likely to encounter, and why. It will provide some insight into his thoughts on those issues - If you're an AS male this book can assist you in understanding your female partner; to see your behaviour from her point of view."

I am not really able to make a comment on whether this book is going to be useful for female partners of men with AS, however in my opinion a very much doubt it will be useful. Definitely in my opinion this book will not assist AS males in understanding their female partner.

Unlike many new books on Asperger's Syndrome there was no actual new factual information given and personally I learnt nothing that I already didn't know.

The author continually kept harping on about the wife suffering from CAD-Cassandra Affective Deprivation Disorder, literally page after page CAD was brought up. Fine a couple of times is alright, the number of times Rudy Simone mentions CAD, by the time a wife has finished reading the book she will think that she must have CAD or otherwise something is wrong.

"indication that there was something "abnormal" going on inside him." This statement really upset me as it showed a complete and lack of understanding and sympathy towards us Asperger's. We are not "abnormal" we are only "different".

Chapter 17 - "it's not unusual for a person with AS to say "I'll be right over," and then not arrive for many hours. They can get caught up in things along the way. Don't be offended. Just try to explain that your time is valuable to you and you don't like to left hanging: that if he is going to be late he should call." This chapter is trying to suggest that Asperger's have great difficulty when it comes to keeping a social appointment when in Fact 2 out of 5 Asperger's run their life by the clock and 20.00 means exactly that, not 19.59 or 20.01.

At the end of the book under Glossary of Terms under diagnostic (DSM-IV) it suggests that one looks this up under (Wikipedia 2008) which I think is an extremely unprofessional place to go and again shows the authors whole approach to Asperger's Syndrome.

One other small point, as an Asperger I didn't like the fact that this book is written in American English, with all the usual British English spelling mistakes.

Overall I think this book puts us Asperger's in a bad light and is an extremely poor book on the subject of a long-term relationship with an Asperger partner. Therefore I am unable and will not recommend this book.



Title: 22 Things a Woman Must Know if she loves a man with Asperger's Syndrome
Price: £9.99
Paperback: 112 pages
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers (15 May 2009)
Language English
ISBN-10: 1849058032
ISBN-13: 978-1849058032


At a Glance:

Recommend to Buy:

Autism and Asperger's Syndrome - the facts

The Asperger Couple's Workbook (Best in field-packed-full of self-help)
(Complimented by) Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships
Alone together (A good back-up)

The Asperger Answer Book-The Top 300 Questions (Good to learn about the Basics)
Parenting a Child with Asperger’s Syndrome (A good back-up)

Recommend to Read/Watch:

Appreciating Asperger Syndrome-Looking at the Upside-with 300 Positive Points
(DVD) Asperger Syndrome A Different Mind (Children @ School & Diagnoses)
The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome

Not Recommended unless like reading stories:

An Asperger Marriage
Loving Mr Spock

Not Recommended:

22 Things a Woman Must Know if she loves a man with Asperger's Syndrome

Utterly Worthless:

All Cats have Asperger’s Syndrome

[Stephen]

As the author of this book clearly states, "This book is directed mainly toward female partners of men with AS; to discuss what problems they are likely to encounter, and why. It will provide some insight into his thoughts on those issues".

As I have Asperger's and therefore my review is from an Asperger's point of view which this book is not predominately written for, I think it is important and would appreciate after reading this book if any of the NT ladies who frequent aspergernauts wouldn't mind writing their own review or comment on my review about 22 Things a Woman Must Know.

Thanking you in advance for your kind help in this matter.

Stephen

[Gareth Roberts]

Once again, excellent reviews.