Violence

[chrisnsares]

hi Gareth
our daughter has become increasingly more violent towards the whole family in the past few months; us just being here irritates the life out of her- is this normal for AS? we feel like we're at breaking point and she just doesn't see it- how ever do we deal with the tantrums??? she's 16 in December as well so we may be at an awkward age for help too?

Anyone answer.

[Gareth Roberts]

It could be the age that brought this on.

I personally think it could be the fact she 'wants' to be like everyone else, going out with friends, etc... but finds it difficult, etc.

Why does she have the tantrums? I mean, thats kind of normal for teenagers, but it depends on why she's having them?

I think sometimes AS people want to be on their own, yeah... that would make sense. I'm just not sure how you could overcome that.

I'll ask around and see what I can find out for you. Keep us posted.

Welcome to the forum by the way!

[cauldronwitch]

Hi there, I'm new to this site. My son has AS & ADHD, he's now 17. When he was 15/16 he too could have tantrums, thankfully not violent. His tantrums happened mainly when he was frustrated at not being able to do anything or if something didnt go right.All through his school years we were frightened to answer the phone as we knew it would be the school asking us to fetch him home. I know this doesnt sound nice but we had a "time out" system in place at home & school, when we saw the tantrum starting or he felt it we said timeout & he used to go to his room or outdoors, this gave both him & us chance to calm down and think of what we wanted to do or say. I personally think the age doesnt help.He is now 17 nearly 18 and the tantrums against us (his parents) have slowed right down, very rare now.

[tinalee]

is there a local AS kids group? our town has a sat club for AS children that starts age 5 and goes through to age 18? different groups for ages obviously. my son loves the fact that he isnt the weirdest one there apparently lol. but it could help her enourmously to hve peers to chat too, and the staff are all ASD trained so they can really help guide the kids?

think ours is run by action for children, you could contsct them or try local social services? they should have a section dealing with disabled childrens services.

[peggyann]

Hi Chrisnsares, did you see The Autistic Me on BBC recently (my son Alex was part of it) Olli who was in the film, is a lovely sunny, bubbly chap, but his mum has said that 6 years ago he was just like Tom in the documentary, quite aggressive and difficult. So maybe just hanging in there will be all you need to do, and time will pass and things may change. Hope so. I am very lucky with Alex who has never been aggressive, although he does have his 'stroppy' moments now and then - just like anyone else!
Good luck
Peggyann

[vassilizenit]

I have been mulling over the violence aspect...

I'm 37. As a teenager I certainly had strong emotions... see people with Aspergers are not emotionless, but how do we deal with emotions? & I find that a challenge to this day.

Fathers are often the law makers and so may get the brunt of any bad feeling.

I was never violent.... though I did have quite a few cutting/sarcastic remarks to keep people at arms length and make them think twice about upsetting me again!

I'm very sensetive, allways have been & sensitivity may well be the key to violent outbursts..... people may not think they are being intrusive/aggressive, but for somebody with Aspergers it may seem more intense, and just like the rest of humanity, people with Aspergers are capable of violent outbursts.....

Calming things down is probably a good idea.