asd preliminary diagnosis

[vixster]

Hi there,

I dont really know where to go and i found aspergernauts, which i think is wonderful. Really made me understand some things at an easy understandable level.

My little boy has a probable diagnosis of Aspergers and he is 5. I am finding it really difficult to cope with his terrible outbursts of aggression and just needed somebody to talk to. I dont really know where else to go.

Thanks for taking the time to read my mail, would love to hear from anybody.

Vicky ( very stresed mum)

[Gareth Roberts]

Vicky,

I understand what you feel like. The aggression, in what way does he get aggressive?

Maybe there is a reason, a cause, a trigger for this reaction? Maybe ask him why he feels angry - it could even be stress from something he isn't coping with.

Solving the problems and difficulties he has in life may help his anger. The other thing you could do is seek professional help to see if someone can help with anger - management kind of tasks.

Good luck

[vixster]

Hi Gareth.

Thanks for your reply. I really dont know what is causing his outbursts at the moment. Obviously something is bothering him.- but i cant put my figer on what. And when i ask him there is always a simple answer. He refused to get dressed for school yeaterday and an hour and a half long batle ensued. Why? " i hate school and dont want to go"- "why did you bite Katie??- because she left before me to go to ballet" (he is usually first in line). They are valid reasons for him.

As i said, i am new to Aspergers, and i have overloaded my brain with so much info that i find i cant really think any more !! lol.

I think i am still very raw from his diagnosis and am having a pretty tough time.

Vicky

[miss_understood]

He is still very young, and will find it difficult to know when he is becoming angry or stressed.

Time out for him could work?

If you see him getting angry or stressed at something give him some 'time out'

Time alone with no one else around to bother or annoy him.

You could set up somewhere at home that is quiet, and maybe with something their he will like doing, to de-stress or calm himself?


Obv his outbursts could come on suddenly, but try to look at his behaviour prior to his outburst, to see if he seems botherd or stressed by something. Obv he may not be able to tell you what is bothering him. But he might show signs of having a 'bad day'

Also after he has been aggresive in some way, as u have done, speak with him about what happend (once he has calmed down) aks why he hit, or bit someone. and talk about how he would feel if Katie hurt him.


He probably refused to get dressed for school because something at school was bothering him, weather its with his peers or teacher, does he get any additional support in school?

not sure if this advice is any good. worth a try i suppose.

Does K normally leave before him to go to ballet?

If so, a social story to explain, e.g

On Tuesdays Katie goes to ballet.

This means that she has to leave before (insert son's name)

It is OK for Katie to leave first.

I can go first on other days.

OR

It is good to be first in line

But (insert sons name) can't always be first

This is OK

It is OK to let other people go first.


again my advice may not be of use. hopefully something will help though.

[vixster]

thankyou, you know any advice is good !! lol. I like the idea about the social stories, thats a good idea.

We have had a good few days this weekend!!!

He does have time out and will go off to his room for 5 mins and read a book. And i always ask him wbout why he hurts people. We do get an answer, and it is always very simple. but, to him it is a big thing. I know it will take time and constant continuity to make any difference.

I see you have aspergers yourself, do you mind if i ask how old you are?? i suppose the biggest thing for me is understanding what he is going through. I am reading, but not really understanding it.

Thanks for your reply.

Vicky

[miss_understood]

I am 25

I am not actually DX as having AS but i do have a lot of Aspergers traits.

But their is only an option of yes or no on the profile so i selected yes.

[kitkat]

vixster Wrote:thankyou, you know any advice is good !! lol. I like the idea about the social stories, thats a good idea.

We have had a good few days this weekend!!!

He does have time out and will go off to his room for 5 mins and read a book. And i always ask him wbout why he hurts people. We do get an answer, and it is always very simple. but, to him it is a big thing. I know it will take time and constant continuity to make any difference.

I see you have aspergers yourself, do you mind if i ask how old you are?? i suppose the biggest thing for me is understanding what he is going through. I am reading, but not really understanding it.

Thanks for your reply.

Vicky

i feel exactly the same as youabout my 10 year old its reallly hard to understand where all the aggression comes from my kids have a good life with loads of activitys and hobbys but whatever he gets or has he never seems to appreciate what a nice life he has compared to some kids ! its really really hard !

[miss_understood]

ok i will do my best to explain.

because of language and communicaton problems this can = frustration and that can develop into anger.

think about a time when u have found it difficult to express something.

maybe on holiday in a foreign country.

and someone fails to understand what you are trying to say.

or their approach or way of doing things is different to your own.

everything seems different and you may not understand why people are acting a certain way.

this would annoy or frustrate you in some way.

causing you to feel stressed or anxious.

everyone appears to know whats going on, and how they are supposed to act, what is expected of them etc.

but you do not.

people who have ASD have difficulty expressing themselves, they may be able to talk, and could talk for hours about something. but when it comes to expressing thoughts and feelings and emotions their is a barrier their, causing frustration. its difficult to express and understand emotions.

ppl with asd are also worryers, and tend to worry about a lot of things, but are unable to express their worries and anxieties = frustration and anger.

also they don't natuarlly understand social normalities. and often will not pick up on body language or tone of voice etc.

also a lot of ppl who have asd suffer from sensory overload. think of a time when things have just got too much for u to handle and u feel like shutting urself away in a quiet room for half an hour. like an extreamly busy trainstation, etc.




I have no idea if i am making any sense at all.

[miss_understood]

the world can be a scary place and your children will need help with understanding and fitting in to it. routine can help ease some of the stress of everyday life.

knowing what to expect and when,

hopefully i have managed to make some sense in what i have typed.

If not let me know and i will attempt to explain better!

[vixster]

so were you agressive when you were younger? how long do you think you have had signs of aspergers?? I hope you dont mind all the questions, but i am really finding it a strugle at the moment !! My little man has been excluded today from class for the rest of the week. He is 5 for goodness sake!!

I can read what you are saying, but to understand it i feel is very difficult. Am i stupid?? ignorant?? or do other people find it difficult to understand.

Sorry if i sound a bit , um, confused?? fed up?? I have had a really bad few weeks lol.

Thankyou all though i really appreciate your honesty and answers

Vicky